Moment With Betty

Let me begin with the quotation from the bible in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. We read a portion of Moses’ important message to all Israel: “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” 

This shows that the instruction for parents to pass on the faith to their children is biblical hence it has become imperative for parents to do the needful if we must achieve continuity of our faith from generation to generation.

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Both the father and mother are teachers of their children and wards and they should constantly ask questions about how to raise their children/ ward. These questions should also include, how to discipline them and how to cope with difficult teenagers and so on.

 With different technological applications steering us in the face, raising children has become an uphill task for so many parents however, creating a loving home in which our children’s characters, hearts and minds can be nurtured and developed is a battle worth fighting and trust me, this can be a great fun if well planned and managed. As parents we want all our children to be academically successful but more than that we want them to be successful as people and to be well formed in their Christian faith so that later, when they become adults, their lives will be filled with joy and people will constantly judge them on their successes. Remember that in the home, the children should be loved unconditionally for who they are, just as God loves them.

 The home should not simply be a place for feeding the children, keeping a roof over their heads and trying to ensure they don’t end up in jail! Rather it should be a place where values are instilled and where the whole person is developed – body and soul.  It should be a place of laughter, warm memories and a place where we take a break from the pressures of the world and where we can also point our children to new horizons and to a reality beyond the four walls.

 So, for this to be achieved, parents should avoid any kind of negativism along the lines of modern culture which sometimes may be seen as terrible.  Some parents boastfully say that they don’t allow any TV in the home or let their children use mobile phones at particular times. This should not be the attitude towards technology, the most important thing is for parents to monitor how these gadgets are being used or misused. The focus of parents should also be on the good and how to filter out the bad influences that may arise from the use of these gadgets. Remember that setting controls and limits is an important part of job as parents because not much is gained by shutting down access completely. 

Every home should have a sense of family values that will guide the occupants of that home, parents and children alike. This values will determine the modus operandi of the home in terms of what time, that prayers are said, who leads the prayer in the morning, at night daily and other activities. Parents should also encourage their children/ wards to always say prayers before and after meals at a very young age so that the children can grow with that culture and make it a habit. Remember that if you bring up your child in the way of the Lord he/ she will never depart from it. However, parents should endeavor to lead by example and have some few rules to help the children develop other sense of family values such as; table manners, proper dressing and so on.

So, if focusing on the good should be the goal of parents in creating a genuinely happy moral and spiritual home, then they may consider some few ideas such as; a) Praising their children a lot particularly, if good habits and virtues are to be fostered. If for example, the children save part of their pocket money for the Sunday collection and also use it for charity, they deserve to be praised so that they can be encouraged to do more.

b) Making the homes bright and cheerful and making daily quiet times a part of our family routine is very important as they offer parents the opportunity to bond more deeply with their children/ wards, but don’t let it be silent all through rather, fill that moment with prayers to God, through reading the bible particularly, the New testament), praying the rosary,having a family get together that will relax everyone with a great sense of mental and physical well-being.

 As we raise our children, we must have devotional times and more formal spiritual learning settings, but the vast majority of learning about God and the world HE created has to be through daily life situations. Whether on walks in the woods / estates as the case may be or shopping at a grocery store/ malls. Continuous real-life situations afford us amazing opportunities to discuss topics like act of kindness, or to correct cultural distortions and a good question to have at the forefront of our minds should be, “Does my child really know how to do these?” 

Note that as a parent, it is not merely enough to instruct (or have others instruct) our children on the ways of God. The biblical model gives the primary responsibility of passing on the faith to believing parents who are to live out their faith in front of their children. Today Christian parents are called therefore, to partner with churches in this effort, but the primary responsibility rests with parents (with healthy churches taking the responsibility of preparing parents for this role). Each generation has memories, stories and values it wants to pass along to the next generation; this especially includes the spiritual values of our faith – and we don’t want their faith to be dropped after they leave the home.

Finally let’s not forget that love should exist between spouses. Parents must be humble enough to admit that they have failed many times in their role as parents but should also recognize that by being united to one another and with their focus on God, offers them a chance to begin again. 

Raising a family is a great sporting adventure, and we should be prepared for the setbacks, but with God’s help and a sense of humour, our homes can always become the nurturing environments they were intended to be. All we need to do is to ask Our Lord to please make us a better parent so that we can be a perfect example for our children and to know that our weaknesses will be overcome with God’s strength.