Moment With Betty

January 2021 greeted me with the shock of my life that l am still grasping to recover from. But thanks to God that l am alive to tell the story.

Imagine losing two dears ones in the same month and not by any sought of accident, then you will realise the trauma that l went through but thanks to the grace of the Holy Spirit which helped me to wader that terrible storm that almost consumed me.

Before now when l read the Bible and when l got to the book of Job, l use to wonder how Job went through all sorts of disasters and grieves and still remained faithful to God. Job was a good man   who worshiped God and was faithful to Him yet God gave Satan the power to test him by taking everything he had except hurting Job himself (Job, 1:vs 12) Despite the fact that Satan destroyed everything owned by Job including his children, Job remained steadfast in his faith in God.  At the end of the trial Job said and l quote” lf my troubles and grieves were weighed on scales, they weigh more than the sands of the sea so my wild words should not surprise you. Almighty God has shot me with arrows and their poison spreads through my body. God has lined up the terrors against me” (Job 6: 1-4).! Very touchy!

This got me thinking when l found myself in the situation l described above. What manner of man would bear this and so this question arose in my mind, who ‘am l to God? or better still, what relationship do l share with God? Then the next question for me was, how do l live going forward?

My heart seized for a while and sadness and anger took hold of me but for the timely intervention of my elder brother who kept calling and chatting with me and making references to some consoling passages in the bible, l don’t know what would have become of me. My other brothers and friends constantly called and chatted with me and also made references to Bible passages to comfort me but the one that l would say helped me most was the a passage from the book Sirach 38: 16-23 (Go read it please). This helped to put things into perspectives for me a little, not forgetting my other brothers and sister abroad, siblings in Nigeria and sisters in-the-Lord, who were with me all the way, spending weekdays and weekends with me during those darkest moments of mine.

My experience made me to realise that grieve is a very disorderly process and you really do not have any control over it. You know, it is usually easy to console the bereaved but very difficult to be consoled. Situations like this is what brings our Faith in God to test and if we are not careful, we would say the unspeakable and sometimes tend to query God Almighty.

I found myself asking so many questions and even at a point became very hostile.  l pray that whoever l might have wronged during this period will understand and forgive me. I was shaken but was not broken and l give Glory to God that l did not lose my Faith in HIM. I Remembered the words of Saint Teresa of Avila who said, “Everyday, our actions can speak as a witness to our Faith” She said that we should consider how God would want us to respond to a situation and if in those frustrating moments when we aren’t sure how God would respond we should simply say, “Come, Holy Spirit” and invite him to tell us how to respond.

Another thing l learnt during this period of grieve is to show Love. Love is said to be repaid with Love but it must be genuine love which is seen in specific ways in the fulfilment of our duties towards God and towards others, even when our feelings do not incline us in this direction and that it may be for us an uphill struggle. (Conversation With God – Vol. 2, page- 377) St Teresa said that we need to bring our Will so closely in conformity with the Will of God, as soon as we realise that He Wills everything.

Let us remember that Love should continue to survive even when there is total dryness or darkness in our lives. Remember that if Our Lord should permit it to happen then, it pleases Him and it is on occasion like this that our relationship with Our Lord is purified and our Faith is strengthened. So my friends, be strong and trust in God for He promised that whoever believes in Him will never die.