Moment With Betty

The Founder of Opus Dei, Saint Josemaria Escriva, used to assure Christian couples that, if they are generous with God, He will help them to form a “bright and cheerful home. Once, in one of his get-togethers, he was asked by the father of a family: “How can I combine my love for my children with the necessary fortitude? To what point can I let my affection influence me?” And St. Josemaria responded: “Affection has no limits. When there is fortitude there is also affection, because fortitude is a part of love.” He further said that we can’t treat each of our children the same way because each one is different. Each is a jewel God has placed in our hands because he has a lot of confidence in us parents. So he said that we should collaborate with God, so that this jewel may shine and give light. (Opus Dei, website).

You will agree with me that it is difficult raising children right these days. However, creating a loving home in which our children’s characters, hearts and minds can be nurtured and developed is a battle that parents need to fight for however, it can be great fun! for husband and wife. Moreover, there is no more powerful way of creating a bright and cheerful home than developing a culture of unconditional love. Parents should know that the home is not simply a place for feeding their children, keeping a roof over their heads and trying to ensure they don’t end up in jail. Rather it’s a place where the right values are imparted and where the whole person is developed – body and soul.  A place of laughter where warm memories are created and where we can point our children to new prospects and the reality of life.  For this reason, parents should avoid any negativism along the lines of, “Modern culture” which can be terrible at times.

Be that as it may, being a father or a mother is not a matter of bringing children into the world. It also requires us to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in the development of the children into men and women who will be authentic Christians. Parents should know that they are the first persons responsible for the education of their children in human and spiritual matters. They should therefore be conscious of this fact and realize that they need prudence, understanding, and the capacity to love to fulfill these responsibilities. They must try to give good examples to their children rather than imposing things by force because if they do that, they will not achieve much.  In this age and time, parents will achieve more if they become their children’s friends and are willing to share the anxieties of their children, listen to their problems and effectively reach an agreeable solution to their challenges. We cannot rule out the fact, that at a certain time in their growth, children can be rebellious and display annoying attitudes, but that doesn’t mean that parents should use the sledgehammer on them. What they need to do is to recognize the fact that they are children and help direct their efforts properly. Teach them about patience and pray for the gift of counsel to enable them to reason with their conscience before making decisions. Respect your children’s freedom because there is no real education without personal responsibility and there is no responsibility without freedom.

Be your children’s role models by living a good and decent life. Live a life that resonates with your faith, because, they see everything from their early years and they judge everything. Let them see that you don’t just pay lip service to God but that you act it in your deeds, that you are sincere.  Show them love and also your wife.  This is how you as a parent can contribute to making your children become true Christians and men and women of integrity who are capable of facing all life situations with an open spirit to serve their fellow men and women and help them to solve the problems of mankind. Support them, show them that you have confidence in them even when sometimes you know that they are trying to deceive you.  Don’t be afraid when they rebel remember that you did the same when you were their age. Try and meet them halfway and pray for them. Trust me, if you act in this manner, they will come to you with ease instead of trying to satisfy their legitimate curiosity by speaking to some vulgar friend.  Your trust and friendship towards your children will endear them to you and even when some quarrels spring up, they will still be loyal to you and it will never endanger the existence of peace in your home.